the basic message #E264

6/14/04

I recently ordered a teaching series on CD from R.C. Sproul, and I must say it's been a good investment.  Sproul is the type of teacher that is very difficult to listen to on the first try, so it helps to have the CD's or tapes to be able to listen over and over.  There are many things of value in this series, but one thing has continued to stay in my mind:: "Disappointment is often the root of anger".  Mull that over a bit and decide if your anger is sometimes a result of disappointment.  I remember quite well a brother in Christ telling me, "John, you have unrealistic expectations of people".  My first thought was, "No, my expectations are realistic, but unfortunately many of the people I deal with aren't committed enough".  After thinking this over (quite often) for the past few years, I've decided that he's right, I do have unrealistic expectations of people.

Perhaps expecting too much from people is a compliment to them.  To expect much indicates that I must think they are capable.  It seems that America wants to "dumb-down" our society rather than expect more.  That said, let's get back to the subject at hand and to a teaching from the Master that will remind me of what I'm supposed to do:

Matthew 7:1-2

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

This passage frightens me, so Jesus did a good job in making this statement.  If each one of us would consider- really consider this passage, the world would be transformed overnight.  Judgment is a complex word- many of us mistake judgment for appraisal, so what's the difference?  Let's take a stab at it with an example:  A man forgets his wife's birthday.  If she says, "I'm really hurt that you would forget my birthday", she's making an appraisal, but if she says, "You don't care about me, and you just did this to hurt me", she's made a judgment.  Can you see the difference?  Either way, she's hurt, but in the second example she's made a call on what her husband's motivation is.  Does he really not care, or is he just a big forgetful clod like many of us are? 

Disappointment can be a really strong emotion.  Parents can easily be disappointed with their children.  Spouses can be disappointed with each other.  Employers can be disappointed with their employees, and conversely, employees can be equally disappointed with their employer.  No matter what, the emotion of anger can follow very quickly on the heels of disappointment.  How can we deal with it?  I wish I knew, for if I did, I would follow my own advice.  I just have to believe that only with God's help can we make fundamental changes in our lives such as this.  We often believe that as people age and become more mellow, it's simply due to maturing.  I'm beginning to think otherwise, simply due to the large population of people in their 40's, 50's, 60's and beyond that haven't mellowed one bit in their lives.  Is it remotely possible that people who have "mellowed" simply called on God to change their outlooks?  Could it be that God sent the Holy Spirit to them like the Roto-Rooter man to carve out the gunk from their hearts to make them into better people?  There is a basic prerequisite to becoming a better person, and it's simply this:  you must want to be a better person.  There are millions of people in this world who have no desire to change- simply because they think they're "okay" like they are. 

I've admitted that I tend to expect too much from people, and that I ultimately become disappointed with their lack of performance.  What can I do?  First of all, I must petition God to change me- that's a given.  Can God simply change me overnight to become the kindly, understanding gentleman that I long to be?  Sure, but what would the people around me think?  I know what I'd think if someone was transformed overnight in such a way- I'd wonder what kind of scam they're trying to pull.  Generally speaking, God is in the slow-change business.  I often use spray paint, and two of my favorite brands are Krylon and Rustoleum.  Krylon dries very quickly, but it isn't nearly as durable as Rustoleum.  Rustoleum, on the other hand, seems to take forever to dry.  Human change is very similar- if you want durability in the change God makes in your life, plan on it talking a little while.  It's worth it.